The Ex-Files: Father’s Day can bring challenges for split parents

Question: I separated from my wife eight months ago. We have shared care of our daughter, who is 8 years old and attends private school. It is the first Father’s Day since we have separated, and I want to take my daughter away skiing in Queenstown to celebrate Father’s Day with her on holiday. I learned to ski from a young age, and I wish the same for my daughter. I will need to take her out of school for the trip. The mother is refusing, saying it is too dangerous, she shouldn’t miss school, and that I have never taken our daughter away for that long by myself. Do I need the mother’s agreement? What can I do?

Answer: Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the dads in our lives. Many fathers naturally hope to share the day with their children. However, the day can sometimes be a cause of stress for separated parents.

Do I need the mother’s agreement?

Generally, you should get the mother’s agreement for the child to travel. Making a unilateral decision could cause urgent applications to be filed in the court to prevent the holiday, which would be costly and cause further hostility between you and your ex.

To learn what the first step should be and some suggestions for communicating in a way that may lead to reaching an agreement and what happens next if you can't reach an agreement, read the full NZ Herald Ex-Files article here.