Question: I am very concerned about my adult daughter. An ex-boyfriend has been bothering her recently. They dated on and off for about six months. He often turns up at her flat unannounced, asking to see her.
Last week she declined to come out and see him and he threw a stone at one of the bedroom windows, damaging the glass. This has been hugely stressful for her; she has had difficulty sleeping and focusing at work.
She is reluctant to contact the police and report her ex’s behaviour because she fears it will aggravate him further. What are her options? Am I correct in thinking she cannot get a protection order because they never lived together?
Answer: Your daughter has options to seek protection from her ex-boyfriend. In New Zealand there is legislation that deals with “family violence” which offers a range of protections for victims. The legislation confirms that “family” is not limited to those sharing a roof; it also includes those with whom you have a close personal relationship.
In deciding whether a close personal relationship exists, the court will consider factors such as:
1. How much time the two individuals have spent together;
2. The places where the time is spent;
3. The manner in which they spent that time; and,
4. The duration of the relationship.
A close personal relationship does not depend on there being a sexual relationship. Each case will turn on its own unique facts. In each case the judge will exercise their discretion.
To continue learning what other aspects of a relationship are taken into account to determine if a relationship would be considered 'close' and how the family violence legislation may apply, read the full NZ Herald Ex-Files article here.
